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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I AM PISSED. I DONT THINK IVE EVER BEEN MORE PISSED THAN THIS, AND IF I WAS, IT WAS PROBABLY OVER THE SAME THING TOO. I DONT SEE WHY AND HOW THEY MUST DO THIS. LIKE. I HELD MY TONGUE THE ENTIRE DAY EXPECTING SOME SORT OF BETTER ENDING, BUT NOOO, IT ENDED UP THE SAME WAY. MAKES ME WONDER WHY I CLDNT GIVE UP THE HOPE IT WLDNT. SO YEAH I YELLED MY ASS OFF HARD, AND YEAH I STARTED CRYING. I CANT STAND HOW I ALWAYS DO BOTH TOGETHER. MAYBE ITS COS I CANT STAND YELLING AT THEM BUT I JUST HAVE TO. I CANT FINISH MY DINNER ANYMORE. I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO TOLERATE THIS. okay its a little minor thing. but i dont see how and why i need to be punished for smthg I DID NOT DO. why do siblings SHARE punishments? i just DO NOT understand. and how my brother tolerate this, i dont know. but HE'S the one so i guess its HIS punishment. no, i do not talk on the phone in the middle of the night - not till 4 at least. and yes, i totally ensure i have enough sleep. i mean i totally can shut everything out, say my prayers and sleep perfectly well. I REALLY CAN. but she doesnt believe me? i mean like maybe she cant stand the fact i can do it and she cant? i can totally think of interesting things (: and still fall asleep fast. I DONT SEE THE PROBLEM? whatever. i think im starting to feel better now. talking to carissa who entirely doesnt know whats going on. (which helps.) and lide who, partly knows? - whats going on. (helps more i guess.) gr. and if im gona get it back today, i have to agree on a LESS demanding request. of which i do not like still. GRR i really have restrictions, but restrictions without reason. GR thats WORST. whatever. to everyone: do not call/msg me after 11. do not call my house after 12 - or else you'll get demanding qns from my parents. oh well. now im getting a headache - probably from yelling. and im gona have dirty lenses cos i had them on while doing the whole yelling thing. AND tmr, im gona have puny sore eyes. SIGH. WHAT A WAY TO START MY YEAR. im gona go sleep once i get my phone back and arrange tmr. you know how frustrated i am/was? SUPER FRUSTRATED. i cld pull my hair out from stamping my feet so hard. (and i thought wq's stamping was childish. it actually helps let out anger.) I WANT IT BACK. NOW. GRRRRRRRRRR. patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue.. |
